he’s gone

well, seamus is off at pre-school. he’s gone. i really don’t a hard time leaving my kids for overnights or weekends. i can be without them. i know for some moms that is hard. i miss them when they aren’t with me but i am ok with the separation. when it was time for layla (6) to start school i was so happy for her. i knew she would love it and have fun. of course i cried and missed her a lot when she first started but mostly because it was a new phase. she was no entering the school world. i still think about her lot during her days. wondering what she is doing. what i am missing out on. how is she interacting. what is she talking about. yesterday she told me on the way home from school that her and some other kids were ‘digging to the devil’ at the playground. really? interesting. we talked about that a minute and should probably talk about it more.

now, our seamus starting school is much different! we knew this day was coming. i tried my best to prepare for it the best i could. i can’t describe for you how it makes me feel to leave this precious baby boy of mine with really, strangers. now, while i have met his teachers and communicated with them the past 10 days they still really are strangers at this point. with seamus’ severe peanut allergy there are very few people who we trust completely to care for him. and we never leave him places without our supervision when food is being served. so, here i am…home alone. my little sidekick who has been in my care 95% of his little life is now off with 2 teachers, who i barely know but i know will care for him, and group full of 16 or so classmates. i miss him. i am so glad he was happy about going and didn’t cry or object – that would have made it so much harder for me. thankfully geoffrey was able to come with us. missing my baby boy and praying all day.

he was suppose to start last week but got sick. that was just fine with me because it gave the teachers time to figure out how to handle his peanut allergy seeing they eat lunch and they eat in their classroom. now that they have a plan in place it makes it a bit easier for me. when we first went to school for open house and they have no clue about his allergy or a plan in place…i had a very hard time! there were many tears. lots of stress. i realized one night as i was trying to falls asleep that i was so wrapped up in my ‘mommy protection, advocating for my son’ mode that i failed to stop and ask for help from the one who created my little boy and knows every detail about him! so, i changed and turned to prayer. that was a big help. i have faith that jesus will keep him safe. but still…i am his mommy. i am the one who takes the necessary action in keeping him safe so, today is a new day for me. and i need to stop typing now and keep myself busy so i don’t loose it.

at 2:30 i get to go pick him up! 🙂


1 Comment

  1. leslie said,

    September 14, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    HE never ever ever ever ever fails us…..I know HE was watching over our sparrow today…..love you!!

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